My girlfriend figured out who you are.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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