had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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