Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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