i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
