dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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