No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
