I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
