Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
