It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
