This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
