omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
