That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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