You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
