good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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