I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can't turn off my feet"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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