It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she peed on how many people?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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