You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
