too bad you live with your parents still
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Can I color on your dick again?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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