you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
