So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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