I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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