I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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