it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
