Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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