He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize