I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
