I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
