I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
