Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
