there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
