I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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