wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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