i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
