So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
