Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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