She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
