hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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