So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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