i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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