i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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