I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
