I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
