I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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