Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
