I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
