Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
smell my finger.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
