There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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