Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
