She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
