He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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