I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
