Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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