I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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