She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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