Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
