Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
