we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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