we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
