I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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