We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
