Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just google imaged poop.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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