i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
