dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
