So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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