Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
