I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
