the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He did a backflip because drugs
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