I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Boobs are out for the taking
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
